Aspects Of Adult Dyslexia
Four areas of difficulty
are discussed:
www.workingwithdyslexia.com
1. Short-Term Memory
To use your STM, carefully read through the following numbers ONCE ONLY; then look away and see if you can recall them in the correct order: 5 9 2 8 3 7 4 6.
One important component of STM is working memory. In the example given above, STM was a passive recipient of information – its task was to remember the information only, not to do anything with it. The working memory component, however, is active: it takes the information held in the main STM store and uses it in some way. For example, we use working memory when we do mental arithmetic. To use your working memory, carefully read the following sentence through ONCE ONLY and then try to work out the sum in your head.
Add 5 and 3 and 8 and 4 and then divide by 2.
Poor short-term memory, especially in the visual and auditory modalities, is often associated with dyslexia. Below are some of the difficulties it causes:
General difficulties
Study difficulties
Workplace difficulties
Managing the difficulties
2. Sequencing And Structure
General difficulties
Study difficulties
Workplace difficulties
Managing the difficulties
3. Perception And Movement
General difficulties
Study difficulties
Workplace difficulties
Managing the difficulties
organisations)
Assessment
Dyspraxic difficulties can usually be identified in a dyslexia assessment (eg, using the WAIS or WRIT test). If physical clumsiness is a marked feature, it is advisable to seek an assessment also from a physiotherapist or occupational therapist who specialises in adult dyspraxia. If perceptual difficulties are marked, then a referral to a perception therapist could be useful.
4. Emotions
Confusion and bewilderment
Many dyslexic adults are unaware that they have a recognizable pattern of difficulties which can be significantly alleviated through the learning of appropriate skills and strategies. They may feel thoroughly confused about themselves: they seem to be quite bright and quick-thinking in some ways, but apparently quite slow and 'stupid' in others.
Embarrassment, shame and guilt
Feelings of embarrassment about dyslexia can deepen into shame, and, whereas embarrassment is often specific to a particular situation, shame seems to seep through the whole personality. Often dyslexic people come to feel that they have a guilty secret. Ella, a successful potter, describes it thus: “I had a secret inside me. I kept ‘it' in a box; and would only open the lid very cautiously. You may well laugh when you know the contents of the box: it was dyslexia. That word, that almost indescribable thing, lived in the box and pervaded almost every part of my life, but no one could see it. It was a living nightmare.”
Lack of confidence, low self-esteem
The emotions described above – bewilderment, shame, guilt – deal a crippling blow to confidence and self-esteem. Lack of confidence manifests itself both in relation to specific tasks that a dyslexic person finds difficult, and in a more general way. At work there is a feeling of not being competent to hold down one's job. There is also a nervousness about applying for promotion, or for another job. In interviews, particularly, lack of confidence can be very damaging.
The daily questionings of one's own abilities and capacities will slowly but surely erode one's self-esteem. Among all the problems, the difficulties, the inefficiencies, the traumas, where is the person who is of worth? Is there such a person in there somewhere? Lack of confidence may result in aggressive or defensive behaviour. Then the dyslexic person becomes trapped in a pattern of interaction, or rather reaction, which imprisons him/her in a lonely and distressing world.
Frustration and anger
A sense of being imprisoned, trapped, impotent is often reported by dyslexic adults. George, a long-distance lorry driver, describes it thus: “I felt I couldn't move in any direction. In my job I was always moving, going in all directions, but in myself I couldn't go anywhere. I was grounded. That's why I liked the driving – I would drive and drive and drive to try and get away from the frustration, but however far you drive, you can't get away from yourself.” In human beings, frustration soon turns to anger. But who should the anger be directed against? Who is to blame? All too often dyslexic adults end up blaming themselves.
Anxiety, fear and panic
Whatever difficulties one may have in life, anxiety usually makes them worse, and this is certainly true of dyslexic difficulties: dyslexic adults become locked in a vicious circle of anxiety and inefficiency. Anxiety and stress can also precipitate physical symptoms: panic attacks, nausea, migraine, susceptibility to illness. Being physically below par naturally further reduces efficiency and so the downward spiral continues.
Despondency, depression and despair
If the difficulties continue to go unrecognised, if there is continual failure in attempts to study and hold down jobs, then the dyslexic person may lose hope and sink into depression.
Relief, determination and hope
It perhaps seems as if this article has been full of doom and gloom. Yet all the emotions that have been described here are commonly reported by dyslexic adults. However, once dyslexic difficulties have been recognized, and strategies for dealing with them put in place, life can often take a turn for the better. All the energy that previously went into worrying about the problems, and covering them up, can now be channelled into developing effective ways of dealing with them, both practically and emotionally. What usually emerges most strongly is a sense of hope and a feeling of determination to turn one’s life around.
As James, who was recently diagnosed as dyslexic, said: “I felt as if the prison doors had been opened. I looked out and saw paths leading in all directions. I didn't know which of the paths was mine. All I did know was that I would have a path in future and that the years of confinement were over.”
© Author of this article: Dr Sylvia Moody, Dyslexia Assessment Service, London. This article can be freely reproduced with due attribution of authorship.